My Love Story With India (Part 3)
DELHI: Social Life
I find the social life of Indians
in Delhi very fascinating. Business does not begin until 11:00 a.m. and runs till
as late as the business owner chooses to remain open. It reminds me of an adage
in Yoruba that says ‘Suru laiye gba’ – no hurry in life. You visit places like
Karol Bagh towards evening and if feels as though the city suddenly sprung to
life with gusto and dare, the shops alive to making sales. 
There is indeed a strong
burgeoning middle and sub-middle class here. That becomes more apparent when you
visit the Connaught Place Mall or the Pacific Malls, a lavish huge building
three stories high housing all the big name brands both foreign and local in
clothing, eateries, accessories, marts, shops, and the likes. This is where you
come to experience the cinema. Europe
When you go to Connaught place,
there’s nothing you’re looking for that you will not get: premium hotels, high
class cuisines, clubs, shopping centres, tourist guides, pharmacies, bookshops,
eateries like McDonalds, Nandos, Tasty Fried Chicken and much more.
All sorts of cuisines and palates
are attended to when you arrive at any of these malls: English, India, Thai,
and Chinese and maybe with a little persuasion and creative genius on your
part, you just might see an African dish presented in front of you. I won’t ask
you to count on that though. So be ready for a mouth exploring adventure and
simply immerse yourself in it and enjoy it. After all, you’re a tourist in
Incredible India!
Another aspect of their lifestyle
I find intriguing is what is called Joint Families. It is not uncommon to see
mature girls and guys living in and sharing the same flat, building or family
house whether it’s made of mud, cement or marble. Matter of fact, there’s no
shame in this and no one is made to feel in a hurry to dash out of the home to
‘live on their own’ away from the herd as it would seem. I find that even in
this setting, you find guys and babes with well paying jobs who have all the
reasons to simply ‘be on my own’, but choose not to. Some even run a business
from the home, in which surprisingly the mother becomes the cashier! That
doesn’t seem to be the pattern here, unlike like the US, UK and Southern
Nigeria where the in-thing is for individualistic determinism away from the
home front.
It suddenly struck me how this
style of living has its merits too: everyone keeps an eye on the other. Mothers
can go to work knowing someone will look after their little ones without the
fear of being molested. In an environment where cousins of first and ancient
generations live close knit, the feelings of loneliness quite common amongst
many youth and older adults in many parts of the UK and US is not that felt
here because there’s always someone to reach out to. That is not to say
disagreements do not arise, but everyone wakes up to the reality of they need
to ‘grow up’ and be reasonable in their expectations, attitudes and have
respect for the values inherent in such clusters. That is why suicide when it
happens in India is not caused out of loneliness or abandonment but rather due
to the associated issues of caste, mental health, and the attendant effects of
socio-economic confinements, rules and sabotage which causes family and
community problems as seen expressed in Bollywood movies. Suicide is not
frowned upon per say in India even though it is not encouraged as there are
certain ‘unspoken indigenous strict religious rules’ that guide it, making it
neither an ignoble act nor an act of justification. In India it is more of a
way out, rather than a wanton urge to shock.LOVE, MARRIAGE and ROMANCE
Amidst all this, love and romance
is always in the air! And in india, there are at least 8 ways to get married.
In which case the prospective have a say or don’t, which also depends of the WHY or reason for that
particular marriage. A bride could be married off in arranged marriage (Brahmana, or Daiva derivatives), or for
cooperation in the study and practice of spiritual life (Arsha); Prajapatya (in which a bride
chooses her groom based on the quality of stock or genepool of the intended),
or Rakshasa
(the
girl is abducted from her home against her will ; sometimes because of fear of
opposition from the girl’s family), Asura (the bride’s family is
first lavishly presented with unimaginable gifts, booms or wealth to show how
serious the groom to be is) or through Pisacha (in which the woman is seduced into sexual relations
through intoxication with wine, flattery, emotional pressure) or by Gandharva (the intendeds declare
their love for each and this type of marriage is purely for romantic desire and
sensual pleasure). So which will you choose? I’m already full of mirth at your
possible choices!
No matter the choice made, Karma
Sutra – the essence of deep romance between two lovers – couples – is non-negotiable.
Even the warriors or Sikhs that I first found a wee bit intimidating are a
romantic and poetic lot when you get to know them better (forget that turban
they wear!); neither should you be fooled by the aura of calm you see about
them that seem like a second cloth they put on. And as caste goes in India, the Sikhs
differentiate themselves on the basis of the colour of the turban they wear. Even
amongst this caste, there are several sub-castes and name ancestry that is not
taken for granted.
I was at the shop buying saris and
Punjab suits when the lady attending to my affairs, whispered gently to me;
“Why does it take Nigerian men a long time to marry?” I was a little thrown off
by her openness (this I realize is a common thing amongst India women – no
holds bar when they really want to talk). And I asked her, how long have you
guys been together? She said five years. So what do you think is the problem, I
asked again. And she said the guy is claiming economic factor as India weddings
are beyond costly even amongst the poorest ones. Imagine hosting 10,000 to 100,
000 persons in a day or for as long as many days or even a week or two? But
what really got be giggling was when she said “Nigeria men don’t know romance!”
I burst into a gale of laughter. I just couldn’t help myself! Nigeria men can
learn a thing or two about how to be romantic from the Sikhs. And if you
recall, India is the home of Kama sutra the very essence and depth of how love
between two people can be physically expressed to its highest form and
expression of pure joy, satisfaction and bliss. |
| Mughal King and Queen - Love, Marriage & Romance |
Entering the metro on my way to
India Gate, I found out the front coach is strictly reserved for the women
folk: girls, ladies and women. No man dare cross that threshold. This was
designed such that in the ensuing tight confinements often experienced while in
the trains due to high volume human traffic, no girl would cry of being
molested neither will any man be accused of ‘fiddling’.
Delhi is an important trade centre for harts or markets where artisans and craftsmen come to ply their wares. The traders come from all parts of India to trade. Getting to Dilli Hart, I was struck by the array of handicrafts, designs, textures, art, and richness of the handmade crafts. Be sure to stop over at these designated markets to shop for some of the best handcrafts to take home as souvenirs or mementos.
 |
| Red Fort |
Don’t forget to visit the museums, heritage sites and colossal forts in Delhi! When you visit The Red Fort, Salimgarh Fort and Siri Fort, history speaks to you when you visit these sites. They tell of the succession of conquerors and the conquered; of invasion and power; of might and defeat. But most of all they reveal how the minds of our ancestors are simply a reflection of how man was bound to have evolve to where we are today. There’s so much man can learn; so much to discover. The day we stop asking or say ‘I don’t know’, then we stop learning, discovering and knowing. May you never stop wanting to know.
Ever heard of the Millennium City? Kingdom of Dreams? That's where part 4 of this series takes you to. Click on the link below for more India stories and discoveries.
Attribution: Red Fort by Alex Furr.
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